Harsh Things to Say to a Naked Guy

I've smoked fatter joints than that.
Ahhhh, it's cute.
Why don't we just cuddle?
Can I paint a smiley face on it?
Wow, and your feet are so big.
Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
Oh no... a flash headache.
This explains your car.
Why is God punishing me?
But it still works, right?
It looks so unused.
It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.