Best of the Pagan Light Bulb Jokes

Asatruar

  • How many Odinists does it take to change a light bulb?

    21 - 1 to hold the light bulb, 20 to drink till the world spins.

  • How many Asatruar does it take to change a light bulb?

    None. The light from the burning monastery is sufficient, thank you.

New-Agers

  • How many New-Agers does it take to change a light bulb?

    5 - 1 to change it and 4 to share the experience!

  • How many New-Agers does it take to change a light bulb?

    (in a flaky voice) We don't use light bulbs, we just think happy thoughts at - our quartz crystals and they glow.

  • How many New-Agers does it take to change a light bulb?

    None. They just join self-help groups to learn to live with darkness in their lives.

Misc.

  • How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

    2 - 1 to change it, 1 not to change it.

  • How many Zen Masters does it take to change a light bulb?

    None. The universe changes the light bulb & the Zen Master gets out of the way!

  • How many Discordians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    2 - 1 to hold a ladder and 1 to fill the bathtub with brightly colored East German machine tools.

  • How many Family traditionalists does it take to change a light bulb?

    Candle light was good enough for our ancestors, it's good enough for us!

  • How many Family traditionalists does it take to change a light bulb?

    Ask your OWN grandmother!

  • How many Starhawk witches does it take to change a light bulb?

    (plaintively) "There are starving villages in Africa that don't even HAVE light bulbs..."

  • How many Pagans does it take to change a light bulb?

    6 - 1 to change it, and 5 to sit around complaining that light bulbs - never burned out before those damned Christians came along.

  • How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?

    What do you want it changed into?

  • How many solitary witches does it take to change a light bulb?

    if they actually ask 'how many?', drum your fingers and stare at them as you wait for them to grasp the obvious

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