For
all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the
world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something
she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes & points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects... Sorry, that's
the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system.
| Simple
Duties |
| You check out
a suspicious noise at night |
0
|
| You check out
a suspicious noise and it's nothing |
0
|
| You check out
a suspicious noise and it's something |
+5
|
| You pummel it
with a six iron |
+10
|
| It's her father |
-10
|
| Social
Engagements |
| You stay by her
side the entire party |
0
|
| You stay by
her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy |
-2
|
| Named Tiffany |
-4
|
| Tiffany is a
dancer |
-6
|
| Tiffany has
implants |
-8
|
| Her
Birthday |
| You take her
out to dinner |
0
|
| You take her
out to dinner and it's not a sports bar |
+1
|
| Okay, it is a
sports bar |
-2
|
| And it's all-you-can-eat
night |
-3
|
| It's a sports
bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face ispainted the colors
of your favorite team |
-10
|
| Thoughtfulness
|
| You forget her
birthday completely |
-20
|
| You forget your
anniversary |
-30
|
| You forget to
pick her up at the bus station |
-45
|
| Which is in Newark,
New Jersey |
-50
|
| A
Night Out |
| You take her
to a movie |
+2 |
| You take her
to a movie she likes |
+4 |
| You take her
to a movie you hate |
+6 |
| You take her
to a movie you like |
-2 |
| It's called
DeathCop III |
-3 |
| Which features
cyborgs having sex |
-9 |
| You lied and
said it was a foreign film about orphans |
-15 |
| Flowers |
| You buy her flowers
only when it's expected |
0
|
| You buy her flowers
as a surprise, just for the hell of it |
+20
|
| You give her
wildflowers you've actually picked yourself |
+30
|
| And she contracts
Lyme disease |
-25
|
| The
Big Question |
She asks, "Do
I look fat?"
(Sensitive questions always start with a deficit) |
-5
|
| You hesitate
in responding |
-10
|
| You reply, "Where?" |
-35
|
|
Communication
|
| When she wants
to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a
concerned expression |
0
|
| When she wants
to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes |
+5
|
| You listen for
more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV |
+10
|
| She realizes
this is because you've fallen asleep |
-20
|