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If you buy your incense and candles at Wal Mart
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If you believe a pentagram is a Western Union message
to 5 people
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If your familiar is an opposum -- and you ate it
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If you combined Maypole Dancing with Tractor Pull and
Turkey shoot forBeltane
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If your invocation for the South Quarter includes
lines from any song by Lynard Skynard
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If you call the Gods and Goddesses by hollering, "Hey
Ya'll! Watchme!"
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If chewing tobacco is considered a sacred herb
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If your sacred God statue looks suspiciously like
Elvis