Signs that You MAY BE A PAGAN REDNECK:

  • If you buy your incense and candles at Wal Mart

  • If you believe a pentagram is a Western Union message to 5 people

  • If your familiar is an opposum -- and you ate it

  • If you combined Maypole Dancing with Tractor Pull and Turkey shoot forBeltane

  • If your invocation for the South Quarter includes lines from any song by Lynard Skynard

  • If you call the Gods and Goddesses by hollering, "Hey Ya'll! Watchme!"

  • If chewing tobacco is considered a sacred herb

  • If your sacred God statue looks suspiciously like Elvis

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