Rules for Work

• Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

• If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.

• If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.

• If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. I am psychic.

• Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

• If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

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