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You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is
DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or
outside LBJ Freeway.
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Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas
has its own version of traffic rules - Hold on and
pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous
high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that.
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All directions start with, "Go down to Beltline",
which has no beginning and no end.
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The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic
a "scenic drive."
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The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The
evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush
hour starts Thursday morning.
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If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be
rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are
the first one on the starting line, count to five when
the light turns green before going to avoid getting
into any cross-traffic's way.
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Arapaho Road can only be pronounced by a native. The
same holds true for Wycliff Avenue, Worcola Street, Sul
Ross and Routh Street.
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Construction on I-30 is a way of life and form of
entertainment.
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All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase,
"Oh, we're in Fort Worth!!"
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If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is
probably a factory defect.
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All old ladies with blue hair in pink Cadillacs have
the right of way.
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Story Road mysteriously changes names as you cross
intersections. Unless you're on Storey Rd.
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If asking directions in Irving, you must have
knowledge of Spanish.
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Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport has four
terminal buildings connected by one tram that never
works.
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A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum
of four hours, although many north/south freeways have
unposted minimum speeds of 75. The minimum acceptable
speed on the Dallas North Tollroad is 85. Anything less
is considered downright sissy.
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The wrought iron on windows in and around Oak Cliff
isn't ornamental.
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Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper
sticker that says, "Keep honking. I'm reloading." In
fact, don't honk at anyone.
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Concealed weapons are a jealously guarded, God-given
right.
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If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60
mph zone... people are not waving when they go by.
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The North Dallas Toll way is our daily version of
NASCAR.
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LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons:
"death" and "trap."
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If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next
weekend.
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If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort
Worth Live Stock Show is going on.
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If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron
Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round.
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Amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, race tracks,
airports, etc. are conveniently located as far away
from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample
parking on grassy areas.