You insist that your boss call you "Rowan Starchild"
because otherwise you'd sue for religious harrassment.
(Score double for this if you don't
let that patronizing bastard call you "Mr. or Ms.
Starchild.")
-
You've ever confused the Prime Directive with the
Wiccan Rede.
-
You've ever cast a spell with twenty-sided dice.
-
You said it was bigotry when they didn't let you do
that ritual in front of city hall. It had nothing to do
with the skyclad bit.
-
You picketed The Craft and Hocus Pocus, but thought
that the losers who picketed The Last Temptation of
Christ needed to get lives.
-
You've ever publicly claimed to be an elf, alien,
vampire, faerie, or demigod, and been genuinely
surprised when not everyone took you seriously.
-
You've suddenly realized in the middle of a ritual
that you weren't playing D&D.
-
You've failed to realize at any point in the ritual
that you weren't playing D&D.
-
You've suddenly realized that you are playing D&D.
-
Your Book of Shadows is a rulebook for Vampire: The
Masquerade with notes in the margins.
-
You've ever affected an Irish or Scottish accent and
insisted that it was real.
-
You talk to your invisible guardians in public.
(Score double if you save places
for them in crowded restaurants)
(Score triple if you admit to having sex with
them)
-
You've ever claimed to have met the Vampire Lestat or
Dracula.
(Score double if you got into a
fight and escaped)
(Score triple if it was no contest)
-
You own a ceremonial bong.
-
You've ever tried something you saw on Sabrina, The
Teenage Witch.
-
You've ever had to go along with someone's ludicrous
story because it was twice as likely to be true than
most of the crap you spout.
-
You expect your employer to exempt you from the random
drug testing because of your religion.
-
You've won an argument by referencing Drawing Down
the Moon, knowing damn good and well they haven't
read it either.
-
You've ever referenced the Great Rite in a pick-up
line.
-
Someone has had to point out to you that you do not
enter a circle "in perfect love and perfect lust."
(Score double if you argued the
point.)
-
You claim to be a famtrad (hereditary), but you're
not.
(Score double if you had to tell
people you were adopted to pull this off.)
-
You claim to be a descendant of one of the original
Salem Witches.
(Score to a lethal degree if you
don't get this one.)
-
Someone once lost their boat delivering your ritual
incense from Mexico.
-
You've ever used tongue delivering the fivefold
kiss.
(score double if you did it more
than once.)
-
You've ever used reincarnation as the intro for a pick
up line.
(You may deduct this point if it
worked.)
-
You think it's perfectly reasonable to insist that,
since every tradition is different, and no one
tradition is right, there's no reason not to do things
your way.
-
You request Samhain, Beltaine, and Yule off and then
bitch about working Christmas.
-
The thing that drew you to the Craft was the potential
to dance with naked members of the opposite sex.
-
You strip in a club like the one in Porky's under your
craft name, and consider it highly appropriate.
-
You've ever been psychically attacked by someone who
conveniently held a coven position you crave, and
suddenly had a glimpse into their mind so you could see
how evil they were.
-
You've ever achieved position or influence in a coven
by sleeping with half of it.
-
You claim yourself as a witch because how early you
were trained by the wise and powerful such-and-such. Of
whom nobody has heard.
-
You complain about how much the Native Americans
copied from Eclectic Wiccan Rites.
-
You're not a hereditary witch but you have a good
disposition to it because your ancestors (the ones
before your German parents) were Native American or
Irish.
-
You don't know the difference between Irish and
Scottish, and you alternately claim to be both.
-
You think it's your Pagan Duty to support the IRA, not
because of any political beliefs you might share, but
because, damnit, they're IRISH.
-
You think the number of Wiccan books you own is far
more important than the number you have read,
regardless of the fact that most of your books are for
beginners.