What if instead of Three Wise Men it had been

Three Wise Women?

They would have:

  • Asked directions

  • Arrived on time

  • Helped deliver the baby

  • Cleaned the stable

  • Made a casserole

  • Brought practical gifts and

  • There would be Peace On Earth.

Three Wise Gay Men?

They would have:

  • Done a fabulous parade towards the manger in full auburn/gold sequin gowns to match the low Star of Bethlehem lighting

  • Arrived early

  • Helped deliver the baby AND dress it up in a gorgeous buttercream-colored 100% cotton throw

  • Cleaned the stable AND redecorated in a western theme to match the animals

  • Would not have made a casserole but a flawless entree of Chilean sea bass dusted in cocoa powder with Guatemalan mangoes in a light chutney mix, mashed potatoes with a light cream fennel sauce and Anjou pears with yogurt cream cheese and Grand Marnier swirls, topped off with a caff/half caff cappuccino con panna

  • The practical gifts would have included items from the new Martha Stewart Living collection

  • Peace? How can you have peace when the entire night just SCREAMS for a drag number!

Three Wise Lesbians?

They would have:

  • Arrived earlier than the men and built the manger, complete with energy saving, forced air heating system and soft water for the shower unit (sorry, but gay men are on "gay standard time"--they wouldn't have arrived until at least 20 minutes *after* the Baby Jesus)

  • Wired the manger for electric and moved in the appliances so the boys could throw together a bite to eat (once they got there, that is)

  • Shooed the men from the manger when the "time" came, gave birth *for* Mary, then put together the new crib while the men wrapped the babe in 420-count cotton/pima blend rags.

  • Pitched a tent and caught a few hours light sleep on blankets before rising before dawn and moving on to the next town to start all over again.

Back