how to write a fantasy novel

The heroes will lose every battle, but win the war.

It will only rain when the hero is exhausted and running out of food during winter.

The enemies will be killed by the slightest mishap, but the hero will live through anything.

The hero and heroine will fall in love on the last three pages.

Magic (if available) will be used intelligently by the hero, but will be wasted by the enemies.

You will annoy the reader by placing numerous re-hashings of prior events in the first four chapters of the second and following books of a series.

The enemy will be able to predict all of the hero's actions, but will be powerless to stop them; the hero will foil all of the enemies plans through sheer dumb luck.

The hero will be able to survive for weeks without feeling the call of nature, unless he is in a cell.

Should the hero be captured, the enemy will gloat and reveal all of their plans.

Only describe a monster you have created once; call it by name any other time it appears, even if the character it is spotted by did not see it the first time or have it described since.

At least one of the heroes will be the second best in the world at something. The only person better will be one of the enemy, but they will nonetheless be defeated by the hero at the climax.

Everyone in a position of medium power or who does not rate a name for the character is corrupt, and bribes.

Rulers of any large territory (eg. Kings, Emperors, Queens etc.) are either terminally stupid insane, totally evil or a combination of any of the above.

If there is an evil wizard, impossible monster, hero and beautiful maiden within 800 miles of each other they will all be together before the week is out no matter how primitive the transportation systems of the time are.

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