Top 10 Signs your teacher is a witch

10. Begins each day, "I pledge allegiance, to Satan -- crap, I mean the flag"

9. Instead of apples, kids place "eyes of newt" on her desk

8. On math tests, every word problem begins, "A broomstick travelling at 50 miles per hour"

7. During "Duck, duck, goose" one kid actually turned into a goose

6. When showing "The Wizard of Oz," refers to main character as "That bitch Dorothy"

5. She requires students to cover textbooks with "skin flayed from a hanged man"

4. She's the gym teacher (that's Top Ten Signs Your Teacher Is A Lesbian)

3. Some kid throws water on her, you get a substitute for the rest of the year

2. Voodoo doll plus pin equals class clown with giant pain in his ass

1. She smokes Salems -- dude, think about it