Anal-Retentive in Your Soul, lynxfeather

In the spirit of Weird Al, and with my profound apologies to They Might Be Giants

I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little controlling friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am...

Misery in the shadows by the clutter.
Who watches over you?   I'm the
Anal-retentive in your soul...
Not to put to fine a point on it
I have to be the only bee in your bonnet
Anal-retentive in your soul.

I have a secret to tell
From my well-organized hell
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells.
So you have to listen to me
And organize your life vigilantly.
My name's Anal-Retentive, you can call me Misery!
I'll reorganize all your mess!
I'll drive you to an early death!
I never rest.

Misery in the shadows by the clutter.
Who watches over you?
Anal-retentive in your soul.
Not to put to fine a point on it
I have to be the only bee in your bonnet
Anal-retentive in your soul.

I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little controlling friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am.

I shudder to think of you without me
You'd be futzing along merrily
Accomplishing nothing and leading life ulcer-free!
That'd bother me a lot
I'd have to find a new job.
I'm here to keep you stressed and tense and tied up like a knot!
I live inside your head,
Make you wish you were dead
Instead...

Misery in the shadows by the clutter.
Who watches over you?
Anal-retentive in your soul...
Not to put to fine a point on it
I have to be the only bee in your bonnet
Anal-retentive in your soul

And while you're at it,
Burn the midnight oil for the
Anal-retentive in your soul.

Not to put to fine a point on it
I have to be the only bee in your bonnet
Or you'll wither into a bag of atrophy without a soul....