I have a terrible problem with movies. I always seem to fall head-over-heels in love with a secondary character who ends up dead.

Ok, so it's not always love, but it is the character that draws me into the movie. The person that I'm the most interested in, or entertained by, or attracted to.

And usually it is a geezer. I have a geezer-fixation. My friends were drooling over Catherine Zeta-Jones in The Mask of Zorro; I was drooling over Anthony Hopkins. Unfortunately, not all movies have geezers, but there's often someone. Geeks, snipers, big dumb guys...

Here is a partial listing of my dearly departed. New entries will be added to the top of the list as they occur - and they will occur, because Hollywood hates me.

Rolf Mueller, Gladiator

big dumb guy. I'd so love to have him shipped to me in a ventilated box wrapped in a ribbon.

Doyle, Angel

sweet, lovable half-demon. Goddamn it, I want him BACK! I've grown to love Wesley, but Doyle's sweet, lovable half-demon was so endearing and funny... *sniff*.

sniper, Saving Private Ryan

sniper. This was the movie that taught me that it's not just geeks and geezers, but snipers too. Not too many characters in this movie engaged me, so I focused on the sniper.

special-ops guys, Enemy of the State

big dumb guys. I loved these no-necked special-ops guys!

Kris Kristofferson, Blade

geezer. Kris Kristofferson as a sex symbol - who the fuck knew? His geezer is as tough as they come -- muscled, half-lame, and dying of cancer. I want this man so bad.

Anthony Hopkins, The Mask of Zorro

geezer. I didn't even notice Antonio Banderas or Catherine Zeta-Jones -- although if you haven't drooled over her in Entrapment, you've missed one of the great joys in life -- as I was far too busy drooling over Anthony Hopkins.

geeks, Mercury Rising

geeks. In spite of my love for Bruce Willis, I will never subject myself to this movie again, so the geeks will just have to live in my memory. Poor guys.

russian geeks, The World is Not Enough

geeks. The Russian computer geeks were the one bright spot in a dismal movie. They made me laugh out loud - and then they died.

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