Miss Congeniality



Miss Congeniality

Gracie
What could possibly motivate anybody to join a beauty pagent is beyond me.

b.b.
Scholarship money -- a chance to see the world, broaden your horizons, meet new people...

Gracie
So join the Marines. It's like feminism never even happened!


Cathy Morningside
I'd rather cancel the pagent than have one of my girls blown up.

Stan Fields
Especially without their knowledge.


Victor
Why are you picking your feet up?

Gracie
Because I am preparing to run away!


Victor
Both painful and grotesque, isn't it?


b.b.
Hart is that you?

Gracie
I am in a dress. I have gel in my hair. I haven't slept all night, I am starved, I am armed. Don't mess with me.


Cheryl
Oh, my parents don't like anything ostentatious. And they really don't like fire.


Gracie
Look. He had a gun.

Cathy Morningside
Of course he had a gun. This is Texas!

Stan Fields
I don't have a gun. My ancestors were Quakers.


Cathy Morningside
You know, I've been fighting all my life against your type. The ones who think we're just a bunch of worthless airheads. You know who I mean. Feminists. Intellectuals. Ugly women.


Victor
In place of friends and relationships, you have sarcasm and a gun.

Gracie
Oh, I have sarcasm? When every word that comes out of your mouth is dripping with disdain?

Victor
That's because I'm a miserable, grumpy elitist. And that works for me.


Gracie
Look, I've been avoiding this experience my whole life.

Victor
And here it is.


Victor
That was charming. *sarcastic pause* Are you drunk?


Victor
I am somewhat less than amused.


Victor
I knew I'd never get you here unless you had the chance to shoot someone.

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