Well, McBoo and I went to see Gladiator today. I liked it - in spite of the fact that they killed my favorite character (of course they did- see All the Geeks I've Lost Before for more on this phenomenon) - the massive gladiator played by Rolf Mueller. You must remember him - Conan, the worst syndicated series ever made? The one with scripts that could have been (and probably were) written by 12-year-old Dungeon Masters? Yes - that Rolf! Sigh. I want him! I'd so love to have him shipped to me in a ventilated box wrapped in a ribbon...

If I had to sum it up

Braveheart in Rome. Really - good movie, made me cry, graphic battle scenes, loved ones waiting on the other side, and a bit of a problem with historical accuracy. If you are unable to just ignore historical inaccuracy, just skip this one.

The thing that nearly ruined the movie...

I had a problem with Commodus. This was not a character you love to hate. This is a character you hate so intensely that it sours the rest of the movie. This character was such a useless, pathetic pussy that he had Maximus' wife and son tortured to death - afterhe ordered Maximus' death. The torture served no purpose, taught no object lesson - it was purely wasteful, cruel, and immoral. I found myself hating Commodus' father, because he didn't take responsibility for the vermin he whelped. Heinlein has a rather famous line about a man must be willing to shoot his own dog. That's how I feel about Commodus. His father knewhe was immoral, he knewhe was unfit to rule. He should have killed Commodus himself, passed the rule to Lucius, and set Maximus as Protector. Duh.

About those battle scenes...

Personally, I think Oliver Stone did it better in Any Given Sunday, which I loved. Stone used a very disorienting effect in the football scenes that confused me until Dagda leaned over and said "that is exactly how it is when you're on the field". I think Ridley Scott was going for that same feeling, but his battle scenes were a little toodisorienting. You couldn't really follow what was happening.

The best dialog...

When Maximus revealed himself in the ring and identified himself as "Father of a murdered son. Husband of a murdered wife." Gods.

What made me cry...

When Maximus staggered into the ring for his final fight - and he was already dying. When he saw his wife and son waiting for him... *sob*.

And one more thing - it was nice to see a movie where a man grieved his wife as well as his child. It seems a lot of times the wife is just an afterthought.

The best grace note...

Not all movies have grace notes anymore - you know, little things that run through the movie and tie it all together. This movie did - Maximus' ritual before each fight. He would kneel and rub earth between his hands. That's all - no huge prayer, no long-winded "this is why I do what I do" to ruin it. Just a quiet moment that reminds you that these men lived and died under different gods. The quintessential soldier - reminding himself before each battle that above all else he is a man of the land.

Spirituality

The thing that hit me about the movie was the spirituality. Maximus was a man who walked with his gods. He had no doubt that his wife and son would be waiting for him in the afterlife. He prayed to his gods. He felt the earth before each fight. He had belief. I want belief.

I didn't expect to come away with that. I expected exhilaration from the fight scenes - not quiet reflection on spirituality!

After the movie was over, I broke down in the theater and cried - not for the movie, but for myself. I couldn't help but wonder who would wait for me. I know this sounds stupid and self-indulgent, ok? But... Maximus knew that his wife and his son would be waiting for him. In Braveheart, William Wallace's wife was waiting for him. (The image of her ghosting through the crowd, smiling that shy smile, reduces me to tears every single time.)

Who would wait for me? Who would I wait for? Funny, isn't it - the things that lurk in the backs of our minds, waiting to pounce.