Chasing Amy - rough version
Holden:
I love you. And not in a friendly way.
Holden:
It's unfair that I love you?
Alyssa:
No! It's unfortunate that you're in
love with me? It's unfair that you felt
the fucking need to unburden your soul about
it!
Alyssa:
They're all true, Holden! Didn't you
know? I'm the Queen of suburban legend!
Alyssa:
...but unlike you, some of us were not given
a map at birth.
Jay:
She's tasted life, so she'll setle
for your boring funny-book-making ass.
Holden:
Settling for my boring ass. Thanks Jay.
That's comforting.
Jay:
That's what I'm here for.
Silent Bob:
She was all calm, saying it was that
time, it was that place. She
doesn't think she should apologize because
she didn't do anything wrong.
...
She was the girl. I know that now.
So I've spent every day since then chasing
Amy.
Alyssa:
No.
Brody:
Thank Christ! ... Sorry.
Alyssa:
I've been there and done it and never
found what I was looking for. I've been
down roads like this before.
...
I love you. I always will.
*slaps him*
But I'm not your fucking whore.
*looks at Brody*
He's yours again.
Clerks
Something like 36.
Something like 36?!? Including me?
Um, no. 37.
I'M 37!?!?!?
My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!
In a row?
Why did you have to go down on them? Why
couldn't you have just fucked them like a
normal girl?
Try not to suck any dick on the way through
the parking lot!
She broke your heart and drove men into a
deviant lifestyle.
I'm offering you my body and you're
offering me semantics???
I'm not even supposed to be here today!
You hate people!
But I love gatherings. Ironic, isn't it?
You're a danger to the dead and the
living .
Oh, hey Caitlin? Break his heart again and
I'll kill you myself. Nothing personal.
Its important to have a job that makes a
difference, boys. That's why I manually
masterbate caged animals for artificial
insemination.
And my present girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks!
37.
Dogma
Serendipity:
Leave it to Catholics to destroy existence.
Bethany:
You have issues with Catholicism, I take it?
Serendipity:
I have issues with anyone who treats God like
a burden instead of a blessing, like some
Catholics. You people don't celebrate your
faith, you mourn it.
Bethany:
So if we're wrong, what's the right
religion?
Serendipity:
It's not about who's right or wrong.
No denomination has nailed it yet. Because
they're all too self-righteous to realize
it doesn't matter what you have faith in,
just that you have faith. Your hearts
are in the right place, but your brain's
got to wake up.
Rufus:
... the factioning of the religions. He said
that mankind got it all wrong by taking a good
idea and building a belief structure on it.
Bethany:
Are you saying that having beliefs is a bad
thing?
Rufus:
I just think it's better to have ideas.
You can change an idea. Changing a
belief is trickier. People die fir it, people
kill for it.
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
Dante:
I'm the bitch?
Randall:
Well, if we were gay, that's how I'd
see it.
Holden:
The Internet is a communication medium in
which people come together to bitch about
movies and share pornography with each other.
Justice:
Hi. I'm Justice.
Jay:
And I am so fucking yours.
Wildlife Marshall:
All I see is a political fiasco which I am
going to avoid by letting this butt-fucking
Brady Bunch go!
Jason Biggs:
This thing has a script?!?!?
Chaka Luka King
I came up with the idea for Sesame Street!
And the white man stole it from me. I was
going to call it NWP: Niggers With Puppets.
Catchy, ain't it?
Jay:
Holy shit. I am wearing pansy red booties.
Why the fuck didn't you tell me.
Jay:
That's ok. I'm a junkie with a
monkey.
