Lt Van Buren
The office.. Isn't that where most men screw
around?
Ed Green, looking offended
Why are you looking at us?
Briscoe, bemoaning the lack of evidence
I have a feeling whoever did this has strict rules against kissing on the mouth.
defense atty
Here's my motion to dismiss, based on the grounds of everything that makes this country not Iraq.
Lenny
I was always a happy drunk.
Greene just looks at him
From what I've heard, you weren't that happy.
Lenny
Love. A devastating disease cured by marriage.
Greene, hanging up the phone at the end
of the longest day
Damn!
Lenny
What?
Green
We've got a jumper.
Lenny
I may join him.
perp
Hey! You can't do that!! I watch Court TV and
you can't do that!!!
defense attorney
The check bounced.
McCoy
That's why I work for the good guys!
DA
You heard that old saying? 'Even the wicked?'
Jack
No.
DA
'Even the wicked get more than they deserve.'
Lennie:
Cuff him. And if he tries to resist, shoot
him!
Ed:
You are such a cynic when it comes to love.
Briscoe:
Not love! Marriage!
Lenny:
And what do you do in the park at night?
Witness:
I drink!
Lenny, exasperated:
Leon, that's 5 minutes of my life that I'll
never get back.
Briscoe:
... broke my nose playing stickball.
Ed, muffling a laugh:
Stickball!
Abby:
Doctors. I can't believe my mother
wanted me to marry one.
Van Buren:
If Lenny is siding with the ex,
there's get to get something to it.
Abby:
Gentlemen, if we could just lower the level
of testosterone in the room...
DA:
With what's waiting for him, it might have
been kinder to give him the needle.
Abby:
Either works for me.
Where I come from, its [the death penalty] is
for when what you've done is so vicious, so
heinous, that you forfeit the right to get any
older.
Where I come from, a person can't forfeit
that right. We can only take it from him.
Lenny:
Ray, if we're wrong about this, we could be
breaking up a very snooty couple. It might
actually ruin my sleep for minutes!
Briscoe, to a captive perp:
We're looking for Twist. No, it's ok! I have
something wrong with my eyes -- I can only see
Twist. I can't even see you!
Briscoe:
Hey, I'm too young to be married, and
I'm a grandfather.
Jack McCoy
She's a fraud!
Adam Schiff:
You know it, she knows it. That won't get you
anywhere.
Jack, closing arguments:
Give me the keys to your house, or I'll have
you arrested. I'm the District Attorney. I can
do it.
Give me 10K or I'll tell the fed about that
shipment of heroin I saw you pick up at JFK.
I'm the DA. They'll listen.
Sleep with me, or I'll tell your boss that
you're under indictment for fraud. It's not
true, but do you really think you'll be
working next week?
Adam Schiff:
A little paranoid can be the answer to a long
life. How much does anyone know about the
person sharing their bedroom?
Adam Schiff to Jack McCoy:
Can't you look at the small picture for once?
Jack McCoy:
That's our problem, no friends. We should
start cruising the bars.
Jack to Abby:
Do I see a soft side scratching toward the
light?
Abby:
That sorry excuse for a woman has a hole in
her soul.
Jamie to Jack McCoy:
If you're for the death penalty, you're for
the death penalty; even if the murderer is
cute and cuddly.
doctor:
The blood's A-B negative.
Lennie Briscoe:
Oh goody! I get dibs on his liver.
My people need unity far more than truth.
Claire Kinkaid:
Wild horses couldn't drag you out of a
courtroom. I doubt your 5-year-old stands a
chance.
Jack:
Kapinski's responsible for that murder!
Claire Kinkaid:
Morally, if not legally. You can't arrest him
for that.
Jack:
I'm a DA. I can arrest anybody.
Defense attorney:
Isn't it possible that pneumonia killed
Suzanne Mercer?
Witness:
It's possible that death rays from Mars
killed her.
Briscoe:
It was the 60s, Mike. You had to be there.
Logan:
What were you doing? Touring with Strawberry
Alarm Clock?
Ceretta:
Did we miss something in the go-go 80s?
Logan:
Speak for yourself, big daddy. I had a GREAT
time.
Ceretta:
Charity usually begins at home; adultery
usually begins at work.
Judge:
Oh, this isn't about slave labor. It's about
a dysfunctional family!
Cragen:
Forget this guy. The clinic just called.
Three more patients went into hypoglycemic
shock. So unless this guy is using
mind-control to kill people, I suggest you
make your apologies in triplicate.
Adam Schiff:
Quick, lock the door. Someone might walk in
the door with a case we might win.
*knock knock*
Adam Schiff:
Oh no. This can't possibly be good news.
Ben Stone:
Is it ever?
defense attorney:
Then you are guilty of the charges?
defendent:
Not before God.
defense attorney:
Can you explain why you are innocent before
God?
Ben Stone:
Objection. This case is being judged on the
temporal plane.
Ben Stone:
I have only one question. If abortion is
murder, no matter how you feel about Mary
Donovan, aren't you guilty of the murder of
her unborn child?
Ben Stone:
But until a few years ago, the abortionists
were the criminals.
Adam Schiff:
Laws change.
Paul Robinette:
If the law hadn't changed, I'd be a slave.
Adam Schiff:
You can't turn back the clock.
Adam:
You feel bad about that?
Ben:
He's not your typical killer.
Adam:
Yes he is. He killed somebody.
Ben Stone:
The commandment says 'thou shalt not
kill'. It does not say 'thou shalt not
kill nice people'!
Ben Stone:
No problem, we have the lying and thieving
illegal alien maid!
