Season Four
Charlotte:
You're engaged!
Carrie:
I threw up. I saw the ring and I threw up.
That can't be normal.
Sam:
That's my reaction to marriage.
Miranda:
I don't know why they call it morning
sickness, because it lasts all fucking day
long.
Charlotte:
For something called a fling, it looks like a
lot of work.
Bunny, laughing:
That's what I used to tell Trey about
you!
Miranda opens the door to see Steve kneeling,
holding an engagement ring.
Miranda:
What, are you fucking crazy?
Steve:
What's your answer?!?!?
Miranda:
... which is why I called you to meet me here
on the corner of 23rd and I'm in
Hell!.
Miranda:
It's the Special Olympics of conception!
Carrie:
As we speed along this road towards who we
want to be, sometimes you can't help but
wonder... are we there yet?
Miranda:
You know what? You're right! Forget my
life -- I'm having Steve's baby! Pizza
for everybody!!!
Carrie:
Did you ever get a girl pregnant?
Aiden:
Not that I know of.
Carrie:
GodDAMN, it must be nice to be a guy
sometimes.
Carrie:
A squirrel is just a rat in a cuter outfit.
Carrie:
Miranda, I'm still asleep. How can you
have had an emotional mini-drama already?
Samantha:
Steve Brady and... Aidan Shaw???
Carrie:
How did this happen? Why are they even
friends?
Samantha:
All we ever do is lie around, take baths
together, and talk about our feelings.
Charlotte to Trey:
No! It's like we live in the National
Museum of Ugliness!
Samantha:
With all of the fucking and talking, I had no
idea men had to work so hard!
Carrie:
Could we not have the strap-on
conversation right now?
Samantha:
Does he look better, or have I been with a
woman too long?
Sam's lover:
You call this a relationship?
Samantha:
Well, it's tedious and the sex is
dwindling, so from what I've heard,
yes.
Season Three
Women are for friendships. Men are for
fucking.
Miranda:
I'm more like... we didn't work out.
You need to not exist.
Carrie:
Your girl is lovely, Hubble.
Mr. Big:
I don't get it.
Carrie:
And you never did.
Carrie:
Maybe I didn't break Big. Maybe he failed
to break me. Some women aren't meant to be
tamed, but to run free, until they find
someone just as wild to run with.
Samantha:
He lives with his parents?
Carrie:
It's their apartment.
Samantha:
Not sexy, honey. Dump him immediately. Here,
use my cell phone.
Miranda:
What's really going on here is sex. Good,
old-fashioned, eager-to-please,
do-what-I-tell-you-to sex.
Miranda:
Maybe it's time I stopped being angry.
Carrie:
Yeah, but what would you do with your free
time?
Bellhop:
This is a non-smoking floor.
Carrie:
I have an addiction, sir!
Charlotte:
Could you have more condoms?
Samantha:
I did, yes!
Samantha:
There's two kinds of guys. The ones who
hold your hand and the ones that fuck you.
Charlotte to Samantha:
Could you please not use the f-word in Vera
Wang?
Season Two
I don't have a pattern.
In math, randomness is considered a pattern.
Carrie, you can't date your
fuck-buddy!!!
Stanford:
When you're gay, everyone can wear
everyone's underwear.
Charlotte:
That's hygenic.
Carrie:
If I were't perpetually 10 minutes late,
would my life be totally different?
Samantha to Miranda:
Your relationship is my greatest fear
realized.
Miranda to Carrie:
Maybe you don't believe its real unless
someone is playing hard-to-get.
Miranda:
Men are like cabs. When they're ready to
get married, they turn their light on. The
next woman they pick up, boom! they marry.
A simple 'you're so hard' can be
quite effective.
Charlotte:
It takes half the time of the relationship to
get over him.
Carrie:
Destroy all pictures where he looks sexy and
you look happy.
Miranda to Carrie:
It's my stuff. It's not you.
Season One
Miranda:
I just realized. Maybe its maturity, or the
wisdom that comes with age, but the witch in
Hansel and Gretel is very
misunderstood.
Carrie:
It's very strange when the life you never
had flashes before your eyes.
I'm sure you get this all the time, but
what is wrong with you?
Samantha:
This is at once so sad, and the most fabulous
validiction I've ever gotten in my entire
life.
Samantha:
Normal is the halfway point between what you
want and what you can get.
Samantha:
Sex is a barometer of what is going on in a
relationship.
Samantha:
So go over there and fuck his brains out and
he'll forget all about it. Men aren't
that complicated. They're kinda like
plants.
Miranda:
I warn you, ladies. If I make it to 4 months,
I'm huming one of you.
Jake:
Come on. Wouldn't you rather be with a
guy who's kind and giving and not that
interested in sex, than an unstable oversexed
prick who only wants to get laid?
Charlotte:
Nope!
Threesomes are the blow jobs of the 90s.
Charlotte:
But you don't have relationships.
Samantha:
Which is why I have great sex.
Samantha:
Just make sure the other woman isn't a
friend. Use somebody random, you know,
somebody you meet in a bar or something.
Charlotte:
Well, I've never done a threesome.
Samantha:
Oh, come on. Of course you haven't! You
in a threesome? You won't even wear a
thong!
Carrie, voiceover:
Meanwhile, Samantha had been busy
guest-starring in the show I like to call
"Sam Does the Married Guy".
Miranda:
But if your friends won't go down on you,
who will?
Carrie to Charlotte:
Sweetie, don't you think it's wierd
you're thinking of sleeping with someone
you don't know to get get closer to Jack?
Miranda:
He's never going to leave his wife for
you, you know. They never do.
Samantha:
Thank God!! Who needs the trouble? This is
ideal -- no muss, no fuss.
Carrie:
Having been raised in the church of be
nice to people...
Carrie to Mr. Big:
Are we dating? I thought we were just
sleeping together.
Carrie:
Odd, how normal can sometimes feel so
uncomfortable.
Carrie:
The truth is, I was dying to sleep with him.
But isn't delayed gratification the
definition of maturity?
Carrie:
And us. We looked like the witches of
Eastwick.
Charlotte:
I think that a relationship has to be based
on honesty and communication if it has any
chance of succeeding.
Samantha:
Ok. If you were 25, that would be adorable.
But you're 32 now, so thats just stupid.
Carrie:
My Zen teacher also said, "The only way
to true happiness is to live in the moment and
not worry about the future. Of course, he died
penniless and single.
